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Community Rules

Read this before you post

The purpose of this community is for all our members to help each other learn and grow.

With that in mind, here are the current forum rules:

Exercise good judgment, reasonableness, and mutual respect – This is a community for smart people who share an interest in personal growth, so please treat it as such. Personal attacks and name-calling as well as profane, pornographic, racist, sexist, or otherwise demeaning or offensive messages will not be tolerated. Recognize that there’s a human being behind every post, and behave accordingly.

Post responsibly – These forums are very popular and very public. Be aware that what you post here will become part of the permanent archives and will therefore be available online for an indefinable period of time. Other web sites, including search engines, may link to what you wrote, making it easy for others to find. Moderators will NOT honor requests to delete, edit, or otherwise alter your posts or username. If it is important to you to keep certain details of your life private, do not share those details here.

Do not spam – These forums are intended to be kept spam-free. Posting off-topic advertisements is completely unacceptable and will likely lead to your account being banned. In general you can expect the moderators to be more lenient with long-term members who have a history of solid contribution and more heavy-handed with new members who are posting for the first time. If one of your very first posts is a solicitation, it will almost certainly be deleted.

Do not troll – “Trolling,” i.e. posting inflammatory, off-topic, highly immature, or insulting messages to provoke a reaction from others, is completely unacceptable and will result in your account being promptly banned. However, friendly debate, socializing, and good humor are perfectly welcome here. What crosses the line is when someone behaves in a manner that degrades the quality of the forums for other members. These forums are a resource for your personal growth, not a juvenile stomping ground.

Do not whine (i.e. no pity parties) – It’s okay to share your problems and challenges and request advice and help from others here. It is NOT okay to incessantly whine, complain, unload negativity, or seek commiseration. Members who exhibit a pattern of negative “poor me” posts with minimal receptiveness to change will be banned. These forums are for people who assume full responsibility for their lives, not for those who are looking to be objects of pity or to assign blame.

Do not post copyrighted or illegal material – Do NOT post copyrighted content here such as articles or images without the express permission of the copyright holder. If you wish to reference a copyrighted item found elsewhere online, simply link to it. If you acquire permission to repost a copyrighted piece here, add the phrase “posted with permission of the copyright holder” to your post. If you don’t know whether or not something is copyrighted, assume it is. Do not post messages that invite or encourage visitors to engage in illegal activities such as hacking or piracy.

Maintain one account only – Post your messages under one account (i.e. forum name) only. Using multiple accounts to post messages with different aliases is considered socially dishonest, and members found doing this will be banned. If you wish to begin posting under a different forum name, feel free to register a new account, and then ask a moderator (via private message) to retire your old account.

Use reasonable signatures – Signatures that include links to free content-based sites are generally fine. However, in order to prevent forum abuse by internet marketers, the following types of signatures are unacceptable: visually obnoxious signatures; signature links that go directly to sales pitches, lead generation pitches, or email capture pages; or links to known scams or pyramid schemes. Signatures that ignore this rule will be censored or deleted, and continued abuse is cause for banning. If your intention is to use these forums primarily as a marketing outlet, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Use reasonable avatars – If you associate an avatar (image or picture) with your account, please make a reasonable and mature choice. You don’t have to use a real photo of yourself, but it’s highly recommended that you do because it makes it easier for other members to connect with you. The following types of avatars are unacceptable: visually obnoxious or pornographic avatars; or avatars that include advertising, URLs, or marketing info. Avatars that ignore this rule will be removed, and continued abuse is cause for banning.

Use meaningful thread titles – Meaningful, descriptive titles greatly improve forum usability. Ambiguous, cutesy, or clever titles diminish forum usability. Most members only have time to selectively read a small percentage of posts, so please respect their time. If you want to be clever or cute, feel free to do so in your post content, but keep your titles as clear and direct as possible.

Stay on topic – When starting a new thread, use your best judgment to select the appropriate forum. If a thread drifts far from its original topic, please start a new thread for the secondary topic in the appropriate forum. Follow the rule of one thread, one topic.

Avoid thread-hijacking – Thread-hijacking is when a member attempts to derail a pre-existing discussion and take it away from its original topic. This behavior can be frustrating to members who want the discussion to proceed on course. If you wish to take a topic in a new direction that would otherwise derail the original topic, simply start a new thread for your own topic. Do not engage in thread-hijacking, as it reduces the quality of the forums for others.

Avoid cross-posting – Don’t cross-post the same message to multiple forums or to multiple websites. This will be treated by the moderators as spamming. Use your best judgment to select the single most appropriate forum for your post.

Adequately describe linked content – When posting links to files or web sites, include a clear description of the linked content. This allows members to more easily decide whether a link will be of interest to them.

Quote efficiently – When quoting a lengthy post or posts in your response, quote only the passage(s) relevant to your response. This makes it easier for others to understand the context for your message.

Post in English only – The official language of this community is English, so please don’t make posts in other languages. This is a diverse, international community though, so be respectful of contributors whose native language isn’t English.

Exercise cultural and religious sensitivity – A wide variety of belief systems are represented here. Feel free to challenge any belief system, but honor others’ right to choose their own beliefs. It isn’t necessary to be “politically correct,” but it is necessary to show basic respect.

Address mature or sensitive topics intelligently – Controversial and/or adult topics such as drug abuse, domestic violence, and sexuality can be discussed if done in a mature, respectful manner. However, if you begin a topic you feel might be offensive to more sensitive readers, please label it appropriately by adding a word such as “(Mature),” “(Adult),” or “(Explicit)” to the end of your post title, so members wishing to avoid such content can more easily do so.

Notify moderators of problems promptly – These forums are attentively moderated in order to maintain a high level of quality and usability for members who are committed to personal growth. If you feel another member is violating these guidelines in a manner that degrades forum quality, please notify the moderators. The easiest way to do that is to click the “Report Post” icon in the upper right corner of any post. This will notify the moderators, and you can include your own message to explain the problem. Most problems are quickly resolved.

Your adherence to these rules is greatly appreciated. Help keep the quality of these forums high for everyone.