Modeling (the profession)
The next big question I’m struggling with is modelling. I have always thought I wanted to be a model but now I’m not sure. In fact sometimes i feel bored with the idea, I want to be behind the camera instead. That scares me. Have to work through that.
As part of being a high profile fashion photographer I will get to travel the world and meet lots of new people. I will get to work with top models I admire. I would get to create and shoot the advertisments and editorials I love.
Alternatively, I could be a creative director. Creating the vision and carrying it through. I would get to boss everyone around and create beautiful pictures.
Importantly, the goals are an experience not a destination. Life won’t stop once I get there. I am going to enjoy learning and building my dream career every step of the way.
I am starting a make up course in October. I will be learning fashion make up for photography. After that I plan to take a basic photography course.
As for my eating disorder, originally the goal was get better, but now I’m less concerned with it. I am much more interested in my new life and that will gradually fade away. So I will continue to go to my therapists and work through the issues but remain focused on the long term direction.